I flew back – one minute walking along the seafront in Sea Point, the next being greeted by my family in London. It was overwhelming and I can’t recall where I stayed for the first few days. Penny and the children arrived a few days later. We were all in a state of disarray and the boys were out of control. One night the two lads and I stayed at my parents and I went out to meet a friend. My parents found the experience too much and told me I would have to move out forthwith. I could have done with their support at that time and never really forgave them for their lack of it.
My friend Mike Adkins came to the rescue and put the 3 of us up for a while and then Penny managed to find a flat in Shepherd’s Bush. I cannot recall exactly what happened then except that I lived with Mike and his girlfriend, Gill but stayed with Penny sometimes. When I was with Mike I met up with Cathy, who had also come to London but the spark had gone and although we both would have liked to rekindle it, we couldn’t. I’ve never understood this – how can a relationship that was so satisfying, so passionate, so everything good just die overnight? Was it just that the trust had gone on Cathy’s side, destroyed when I had not sided with her when Penny had returned from Australia?
I decided to apply for jobs but, because I didn’t want to start in my profession the UK at the bottom again, chose instead to teach. After an interview at County Hall I was appointed as a supply teacher to the GLC. I was sent to a Roman Catholic Boys Secondary Modern School in Ladbrook Grove to teach Nuffield science and GCSE Chemistry. I stayed there for the remainder of the year, although reduced my hours to 2 days after Christmas 1975. I quite enjoyed the teaching, especially the unstructured lessons I gave to the no-hopers who were just killing time till their 16th birthdays. They seemed genuinely interested when I explained how day and night, the seasons and the tides worked and I felt as if I had shown them that knowledge can be interesting.
I made friends with a female teacher called Sue Ainsworth, who played me along. She lived with a man but flirted with me and in my
Mike
Me by Sue Ainsworth
vulnerable state I took it as something more. I also had a bit of a fling with another woman at school, called Fran, but she was concerned because I was still seeing Penny so that went nowhere either. I did manage to arrive at the Christmas party with Sue on one arm and Fran on the other which did my ego no end of good. This was just a matter of lucky timing rather than planning. And on another occasion Sue invited me to go to a party with her and her fellow who was called David. There I met Dee and Philip Hinchcliffe, friends from my Wraysbury days. It turned out that Philip was the producer of Dr Who at the time and that Tom Baker was also at the party. One of the things my father and I shared was a love of Dr Who so I asked Dee to introduce me. Of course all I could say was how much I enjoyed the programme and how Tom was the best Dr Who so I left feeling foolish.
I had a good time staying with Mike and Gill, although their relationship was on the rocks. In September they suggested we go on a canal trip with them and with Ken and Penny – friends from Southampton days. It was a bit of a strange crew – three couples (Penny was with me) whose relationships were in varying states of breakup, and the two lads. We hired the boat from Welford and I was inspired by the English countryside and industrial heritage, things that I had missed whilst living in South Africa. On one occasion Dougal fell off the back of the boat with no lifejacket on. Mike fortunately leaped in after him and saved him from drowning. Dougal was completely nonplussed by the drama and said he’d been talking to the fishes.
The trip gave me an idea. I’d been inspired whilst in Cape Town by the businesses some of my friends ran there. Alan Ambor had two very successful steak houses and had started his franchise business (subsequently he became a very successful wealthy businessman) and Keith Madders had started up a music business selling cassette tapes covering the latest hits very cheaply at petrol stations. I had been frustrated in my job there with the civil service bureaucracy and the restriction of my research activities by my boss. Together these factors had given me the idea that I should start a business but I knew it had to be doing something that interested me. Mike was also looking for a change so we agreed to start a canal business hiring out narrowboats together. I had some money from my pension and the sale of my house and he had a house in Barnes to sell. At half-term I set off to try to find a suitable place to operate from. I started with the Oxford canal and drew a blank there so then spend several days researching the Kennet and Avon canal, not knowing that this had not yet been restored. I slept in the car at night time and went from one possible site to another along the canals in the day. Meanwhile Mike, who as a qualified chartered accountant had a few private clients, one of whose girlfriend’s lived on a canal boat near Stoke-on-Trent, had more success. One day we drove up the motorway to Junction 16 on the M6 to meet David Piper, the owner of a narrow boatbuilding business. I felt like death because of an over indulgence of alcohol and Butt Lane, which we drove through to reach the boatyard, seemed like hell on earth – it was just a typical Victorian worker’s street. David offered us a site at Red Bull Basin to start our business from on condition that we buy our boats from him. In spite of my initial impression we agreed and registered Twinram Canal Hireboat Co Ltd. There was no building to operate from so we put the packing case my goods had come in from Cape Town as a storage place.
We ordered a 45 foot traditional hull from David Piper but this would not be available until early summer so David gave us permission to start off with two second-hand Springers, the Wedger and the Wheezle which we purchased and moved to Red Bull in November. That was the time of the Leslie Whittle murder – where a young girl had been imprisoned under a manhole cover near the canal in nearby Kidsgrove until she’d died. Someone had reported a suspicious character on the canals – that was me moving the Wedger in the company of Mike’s dog Duster, who’d got temporarily lost. So I was interviewed as a suspect in the murder inquiry.
We produced a brochure advertising the 3 boats and put classified advertisments in the Sunday Times. From January until July we spent Monday and Tuesday in London and the other 5 days at Red Bull. I taught and Mike saw to his accountancy to support ourselves . On the other days we worked like Trojans, firstly refitting the two Springers, then fitting out Colonel Puff (later The Colonel) as well as doing the Saturday turnarounds and the bookings. We started off living on the boats and I recall Mike arriving back on one of the few occasions when we weren’t together taking one look at the squalour that I was living in with the two lads and taking us off to the public baths in Tunstall to get clean. This was 1975.
James and Dougal on Colonel Puff
Info and pictures of Twinram Boats
We still kept looking for sites to open our own boatyard, realising too late that we should have purchased the boats on mortgages and retaining the money for the yard. We were tempted by Tyrley Wharf near Market Drayton but negotiations were unsuccessful.
We managed to find a flat for rent at the Red Bull traffic lights and persuaded BT (or whoever they were in those days) to install a phone there with an extension in our canal-side hut. Some days the boys would be left there between breakfast and lunch and between lunch and dinner with the phone the only means of contact. It was a difficult time for us.
At Slapton Lea
At Torcross
At Torcross
My brother David, who was at a loose end, came to work with us through the second winter. We set him to paint the outside of the boats, whilst we worked inside fitting out our fourth boat. It was bitterly cold and we hid our guilt behind a veil of humour as he froze outside. It was all hands to the pump the last weeks before our second season and we all worked crazy hours. The result was that we owed David more than we could afford to pay him, more than we were getting. We suggested that we pay him a lesser amount and he agreed to this but when my father heard about this he was furious and accused me of exploiting David. In hindsight, he did have a point, but really it was none of his business and he hadn’t a clue about the realities of trying to support yourself outside the cosy world of the salaried public servant.
Our new minivan outside the flat
Our social life was based round the Red Bull pub. The publicans family, particularly John and Sylvie, took us under their wing. We had a meal there most days and were invited there on Christmas day. We also became friendly with a musician who played in the pub on Sunday evenings and lived in a double decker bus with his wife. Mrs Bus, as we called her, had the hots for Mike which was quite frightening as she was a large powerful woman. She introduced us to a girl we nicknamed The Mole, in the hope I would be interested, leaving Mike unaccompanied. Although I was desperate I couldn’t fancy her at all and next time we saw her, on the top deck of the bus, she was sitting next to a lad and fondling his member in full view of the rest of us. Very odd. After some months I started a relationship with Julie, a nineteen year-old girl who lived with her parents just below the pub.
Julie
Foam fight with Julie
Mike didn’t fancy her friend, Arthur, who was quite a plump girl. I persuaded Julie to go on the pill and we had a good time although I think she was in awe of me so didn’t say much. I felt we weren’t going any where so finished with her but for a while we had an arrangement that she could call in on me after a night out if I hadn’t drawn my curtains. This worked well for a few weeks although I found it impossible to sleep with the curtains open in case she came to visit.
Mike and me in 1975
We held a New Year’s Eve party at the end of 1975. We had met a few people at the pub and invited them. Mike also took it upon himself to ring up and invite Pauline Humphreys, daughter of a very successful local businessman. He was always very much more prepared to do this sort of thing than I was. In the event she couldn’t come but instead Paula Coope, girlfriend of Craig Rowlands who was away skiing, turned up on her own. She and Mike hit it off big time and their cavortings kept me awake most of the night after all the other guests had gone. I had more or less finished with Julie by then and felt rather put out to have to spend time on my own. Even after this Julie would visit me late at night after her evenings out with Arthur if she saw my bedroom curtains open – which was an agreed sign – and the arrangement worked well for both of us.
One evening at the Red Bull I met Pauline Humphreys and her DJ boyfriend, Gordon, and she and I got on rather well. Later in the week I received a message via a mutual friend that she wanted to meet up with me. I wanted to make an impression but I knew that her lifestyle and my current one were worlds apart. I knew nowhere suitable to take her but Mr Bus suggested a local pub, The Shroppie Fly, with a restaurant and I booked a table there. I drove up to the magnificent Georgian Hall that she lived in, that I had admired many times from the towpath on my walks, in a battered old Mini-Traveller.
Pauline in the flat
I turned down her suggestion of continuing in her shiny yellow Jensen Healey sports car because I wanted to show that my world worked. Unfortunately on the way to the restaurant, half way up Keele Bank the back seat fell onto the battery, shorted it out and the car came to a standstill in the dark. As it had happened before I knew what to do and quickly overcame the problem. The venue was fine with Mr Bus playing for us but half way through my meal – I had chosen cock au vin – I had a vile taste in my mouth. They had served the dish with the crop in it so I had to send it back. We survived that incident too and I must have impressed because she finished with Gordon and in a short time were going out together.
Pauline and the boys at Keith’s caravan, Prestatyn
The next few months were exciting but also a little tricky. The lavish entertainment I found exciting. For example at Alex Humphreys’ 50th birthday party I sat on the top table in front of a huge crowd of people, I suppose most of his workforce as well as friends and relatives, and was entertained with cabaret. The tricky part was balancing the running of the business with the full social life, particularly as many of Pauline’s friends were getting married on Saturdays when I had to turnaround the boats.
My Dad spraying his grandsons with the hose
Ros also getting sprayed
It became more difficult to continue the business now that Mike and I both spent our free time with Paula and Pauline rather that with each other. Mike bought a house in Congleton and Paula and he got married. Their relationship was very volatile. Paula and Pauline should have been well suited, both local girls of similar ages and interests, now partners to two friends who were newcomers in business together. To begin with they did. However, the fact that one was much wealthier than the other seemed to be an insurmountable problem in their relationship.
I kept the flat on. The boys used to come and stay there some school holidays and spent a whole school term with me while Penny went away to a kibbutz for 3 months.
Dougal and James outside the flat at Red Bull
It was a difficult time because the business was so demanding. I couldn’t expect them to spend all their time at the boatyard with me so I was forced to leave them in the flat on their own quite a lot. We were connected by phone and it was only a short walk away but they were only 6 and 9 and there was a very busy road to cross. However things weren’t very satisfactory in London for them either. They were often left alone for the day and one time they were left in the charge of a young American lad for several weeks while Penny went off. The result was that James started to get into trouble with the police and their school work was suffering as well. One time Penny returned from a day out and the two lads had gone. They had decided to go away and had packed stuff for that purpose. The police eventually found them after midnight camped out on Shepherd’s Bush Green. Penny’s mother, Patricia, did quite a lot for the lads and they spent a school term at the local school in Stokenham, South Devon. It must have been a very disturbing time for them and I shall always feel that I should have been more responsible than I was. They had 2 1/2 years, from 1974, when we left Cape Town to early 1977, when Pauline and I married and took them on full-time, of being shunted from London (in 2 flats) to Stoke (on boats and in a flat) and Stokenham and being inadequately cared for much of the time. When Penny said she intended to return to Cape Town I was not prepared to let them leave the country. She had not looked after them properly. I had friends who reported calling round to the Hammersmith flat finding the two boys unattended and so hungry they demolished a loaf bought for the in seconds. Pauline indicated she would help bring them up and that seemed the best option. Patricia had the boys for a few weeks between Penny leaving and us taking them on. They came up by train the day before our wedding.
Pauline and I decided to go on holiday to Greece in the summer of 1976. This was the first time I’d been away since the canal holiday in 1974. Our expectations of a holiday were very different. Pauline was used to hotels and package tours and I was used to camping or sleeping under the stars. The first couple of days were OK because we stayed in Athens in a hotel. Then we went to Piraeus. I’d persuaded Pauline to travel light. I had a large rucksack and she a medium size holdall. We caught the first ferry that we could and arrived at Aegina, an island not far away. We walked around in the searing heat looking for somewhere to stay, Pauline wanting to book a smart hotel and me wanting a cheap room. Eventually we booked in at a cross between the two but our room was on the top floor and unfinished to the extent there were no windows and just a concrete floor. Because it overlooked a lovely beach I thought it was wonderful but it was too basic for Pauline. Next day we took a ferry to Hydra and were fortunate to find a room with a balcony overlooking the beautiful harbour. We stayed there several days very happy. A friend had said how beautiful Skiathos was so we decided to go there. This involved getting a ferry back to Piraeus and then two buses to the north to Volos and getting a ferry from there. We were met at the boat by people offering rooms and we went with one lady up the backstreets to her house. We rented a room on the first floor with a balcony and 3 single beds. Again I loved being in a genuine place with bouganvillea and Pauline hated the 3 beds that limited the floorspace and the fact that the bathroom was down to the ground floor, out to the road and back under our room. We did stay there several days, sunbathing, sitting in cafes etc. but it was extremely hot and neither of us were totally content.
Perhaps we should have learned from this holiday that we were going to find it hard to compromise. But we didn’t.
In the late summer of 1976 Penny and I got divorced with joint care and control of the children in the Courts in the Strand. We divided our assets amicably 50/50. On the same day I officially became engaged to Pauline. I had previously driven to the head office of her father’s business to ask for his approval which was willingly given. He suggested we chose the ring whilst we were in London from a particular jewelers which belonged to a friend of his. I was concerned as I didn’t have much money and a ring suitable for a girl from a wealthy family was likely to be expensive. When we were shown rings to choose from I tried to tactfully explain my position to the jeweler but he didn’t seem to want to understand. There were no prices on any of the rings and Pauline was instructed to choose the one she liked the most. I felt most uncomfortable but it was only when we got out into the sunshine that I realised that I had been set up, that my father-in-law would presumably be paying the difference between my contribution and the cost of the ring we chose. I understand that it was the only way a “suitable” ring that could be shown off could be purchased but resented being set up and never felt the same way about that ring as I did, say about Penny’s engagement ring which we chose together from a second hand shop.
I had an unusual stag night at the private house of Craig Rowlands as both sexes were there. My Uncle Rob got rather drunk and had to be kept under control. My best man, my brother Chris, also got rather drunk and in the morning said there was no way he could do the job for me. Of course he had to and we persuaded him through the morning that that was the case. We were married in the Methodist Church in Kisgrove on 7th February 1977 (the C of E would not marry a divorcee). It was a big occasion and we had our photo on the front page of the local paper, The Sentinel under the headline Stoke-City Chairman’s daughter Weds. The reception was at Lakeside Country Club with 200 guests which terrified Chris. I didn’t even realise I was expected to give a speech and so, for once, was lost for words. When it was time to leave poor James, whose Mother had just flown off to South Africa and who didn’t have anywhere settled to call home started crying and wouldn’t let us go without a struggle. Pauline’s brother Keith and wife Marie had them for the night before the wedding and for our 3-day honeymoon.